Halloween is the only holiday I could never really wrap my head around! I felt it was hypocritical for me to hand out candy to other kids and my own when I advocate the opposite to my kids and clients. In fact, in years past, I was the house that only handed out bubbles, play dough, pencils, and little plastic bugs and animals… but this year we added dark chocolate Hershey’s Kisses to the toy bucket. Guess what, it was a great addition! Halloween as I learned this year is MUCH more than just the candy. In fact, my kids taught me so many lessons this year about what the night really can bring!!
Here is the real, being a mom, as you all know is a massively difficult job. I am always reflecting on my decisions as a mom, wondering if I am making good ones. As a mom who has only ever had twins, I don’t know any different, but, I imagine it is a bit more challenging to recognize each child’s individual needs and wants. Some days, I find myself buzzing around, working so hard to cook, clean, study, work, and take care of all that, I realize I have not even slowed down long enough to sit and “just be” with my kids.
I promise all of this is coming back to the candy and Halloween. As the boys are getting older and really moving into their own space, personalities, preferences, and true needs I am recognizing they are completely and totally uniquely awesome. Spending one on one time with them, looking into their eyes, and telling them I am proud of who they are every day is my priority.
As a twin mom, recognizing the powerful individual spirits in each child is a definite challenge. I feel like I am getting the hang of it.
A wise twin mom once told me when I was pregnant with the boys, “they may come in a pair, honey but they are not a pair of shoes”. That was great advice!
SO what did I learn from my little soldier, Cam Newton, Ariel, and Rapunzel this year? I learned to let go of what I think I should do because it is what I think people expect me to do. I learned to be with them, let them enjoy and choose on their own. I learned that they have so much wisdom and I need to soak every bit of it in!
Every year I have chosen to let the switch witch come and take the candy for the kids in exchange for a dark chocolate bar and a small toy. This year I let the kids choose 8 pieces (for the boys), 4 pieces (for the girls), or trade all for a dark chocolate bar. The only hard rule was no high fructose corn syrup or food dyes. I was not sure what would happen, but it was their right to choose. So, we dumped out all of the candy, William chose a Kit Kat bar and did not like how it tasted and decided to trade for a Pure 7 80% dark chocolate bar. Cameron surprisingly chose no candy but did try to shake everyone else’s toys and he wanted a box of Chia bars. Annabelle had two pieces and no interest in anything else. Maddy was 100% all about the candy! She would have tried it all and eaten it all if she could!!
I learned that my kids have a lot more in them than I realize! I learned that my kids are full of courage and kindness. I learned that no matter how much I try to convince myself that they are not going to get any older, they are!
Life is much more than just food! It is about joy, love, laughter, and taking the time to slow down and listen. I have a LONG way to go in the slow down department… but I am making strides every day to get there!
So, from this mom working really hard to be a mom… to all of the other hard-working moms! I am passing along a hug and fist bump!! Keep crushing it!! 🙂